Time keeps on slipping ...

I used to be very much an activist.

Then I had kids - twins, wonderful twins that have been two of the three best things in my life.

My life was filled with them, and with trying to occasionally sleep, and with pretending I could keep a rickety, ramshackle marriage in one piece around them.  I couldn't, by the way. 

They're grown now, and very independent and I'm happy for them.

I've always felt the need to be a writer.

But then life, and family and trying to keep a career going (and a lot of energy just getting one started), and staying busy with church, etc.

I wrote, but very slowly.  

Now, the hands of the clock are pointing me toward those things I didn't do, or haven't done enough.

The activism can't wait. The issues, fires big and little, are just too numerous to ignore, to put off til I have more energy and more time. I may not have hope to share, but I by God have stubbornness.

The writing can't wait.  The words, if I don't let them out, start burrowing and boring their way out of me.

I'm tired of telling myself - lying to myself and others - that we should have patience, that the time will come,  that eventually the right things - the things we should and could do - will work out. They won't unless we work them out.

The time won't come by itself.  Just won't come.  Dark forces and the status quo conspire day after day after day to keep moving "the time" away.  

We have to go and get time and bring it to us.  It's not going to come otherwise.  It will always be " ... soon ..." and never here.

It's the only way for us to fly like eagles.