Writing: "Better than drugs? Seriously? Better than sex, too??"

(Clarifying a comment made to a friend)

On the first point - yes, I can unabashedly say that writing is better than drugs - at least the drugs I've had.

Alcohol is mucho fun, but doesn't compare. I've had many many kinds of alcohol over the years, all in quite adequate supplies, and none of them, including Absinthe with real grande wormwood, Artemisia absinthium, did as much for my head as writing.  Note: I said "for my head" not "to my head." Whole different discussion.

I've tried pot a couple of times, but it never did anything for me. Yeah, I know, I must've gotten some "weak ass shit," to use the technical argument people reply with. Maybe yes, but in general, I've got a high pain and drug threshold. I had a hip replaced a few years back - no, I'm not that old, it was just that worn out - and when the doctor showed me my x-ray, it was a big flattened q-tip inside a cup.  It was like 20% worn away.  In all the time leading up to the surgery, I was only occasionally in pain.  Mostly, I was just increasingly uncomfortable. Seriously.

After the surgery, I was on 80 mg a day of hydrocodone.  I expected to be sleeping 16+ hrs a day, but nooooooo ... I maybe slept an hour extra. Mostly, I could tell it was best if I just did one thing at a time and not four.  That was my big pharmacological experience.

I'm sure I'm underestimating the dark pleasures of heroin, etc., but I genuinely enjoy having a relatively clear head and not being addicted to something.

I'm also just way too damn lazy to invest a lot of time in developing a drug habit. Ask my wife. She'll tell you, just like she told me.

So, there's one down.

On the second point - would I say that writing is better than sex?

Yeah, right.  I mean, I've had sex, Writing feels great when you're in the zone, and you've just cranked out something that you really like, but come on, sex is sex. Let's be real.

Plus, everyone knows that once you become a published writer, that's pretty much an open invitation to thousands and thousands of literary groupies, so there's all kinds of sex just being handed to you. Seriously. You read about it all the time in ... uhh ... well, there was a thing on the Discovery Channel ... I think ... no, that was some pay per view thing.  Nevermind. Forget I brought it up.

Anyway, I don't want any groupies throwing themselves at me. Ask my wife. She'll tell you ... just like she told me.