Nancy had her hand on my forehead when I woke up.
I didn’t even realize I’d fallen asleep out there.
“Hi, Danny. How are you?”
“Hi … hi, Nancy. Umm, okay.”
I was a little confused. I sat up and rubbed my face. Nancy was over before lunch, but she left hours ago, I thought. Sometime after lunch, I must’ve fallen asleep in the yard next to my aunt and uncle’s koi pond. I couldn’t really see the sun through the trees, so I couldn’t tell at all what time it was.
“Where is everyone?” I looked around and then saw my family and my aunt and uncle through the sliding glass door and picture windows of the family room.
“They’re, yeah … all inside.” I started to get up to go see what they were up to, but Nancy put a hand on my leg. “Stay out here with me, Danny.”
“Why? What’s going on.”
“They think you’re napping. They’re planning a party for you. Besides, I like spending time with you. You’re leaving soon and I won’t get to spend much more.”
My birthday was weeks away still, and by the time it came, my family would be back home. We almost always come down to see my aunt and uncle in the Summer, but we only stay about a week before we have to get back home. In fact, we were leaving in two days.
That was really nice, everyone planning something for me. For my last birthday, it was just my family and two classmates from the third grade. There would have been more, but since my birthday is in June, a lot of times, people have other things planned for their families. That’s how my parents explain it to me, anyway. A lot of times, people already have plans out of town.
Anyway, there was no way I was going interrupt them planning a party for me.
They were real distracted. They’d talk up real close or make big gestures, or just pace around if they had something to say. Nobody came outside, even though they gestured my way and looked through the window off and on. I waved but nobody waved back. They were busy.
That’s okay, though. They could be as busy as they wanted and I would just enjoy talking to Nancy. As far back as I can remember, I’ve kind of had a crush on her. Her parents live next to my aunt and uncle and I see her every time we come down, which has been twice a year since at least my Kindergarten year, which would make it at least ten times.
She leaned over for a sniff of the flowers that hung over the edge of the koi pond. They were lilacs, I think. “Do you like flowers, Danny?”
I shrugged. “They’re okay.”
“You might like these. Why don’t you come smell them?”
I tried leaning in myself, but I was too far away, so I had to scooch over almost two feet and then lean in. She watched me real close. I thought at first I was getting set up for some kind of joke, but I took a sniff. “Yeah, they’re nice.”
She nodded her head slowly without taking her eyes off me, then asked, “You can smell them alright?”
“Oh yeah. They smell real … pretty.” I couldn’t smell anything, but I didn’t want to disappoint her.
Her eyes skittered across the windows, watching everyone inside.
“Do you like taking trips, Danny?”
“Like where?”
“You know, anywhere. Someplace you’ve never been before. You aren’t scared of new places, are you, especially if people you know are there – friends and relatives?”
“Heh … why would I be?”
“No reason. If you’re there with people you love, it’s not scary, is it?”
“Uhh … no …” I had no idea what she was getting at. “Are you going to have to go on a trip soon? Where to?” I thought maybe she had to go somewhere she didn’t want and she was worried.
“Kind of, but it’s a nice place, and I’m going with someone nice.”
That was kind of creepy. She didn’t say she was going with family, but it sounded like one person.
“Do I know this person?”
“Of course, silly. Hey, let’s play a game.” Way to change the subject.
“Uh, okay. What do you want to play.”
“Let’s start with twenty questions. I’m thinking of something. You guess.”
“Is it a person?”
“Yes”
“A grown up?”
“Yes.”
“Someone who lives here?”
“No.”
“Is it a man?”
“Yes.”
“Is he American?”
“No.”
“Is he famous?”
“Yes.”
“Alive?”
“No.”
I didn’t think I knew any famous people who weren’t Americans who were dead.
“Are there pictures of him?” She made a face at pictures. “Paintings?”
“Yes.”
“In my aunt and uncle’s house?”
“Mmm … Yes.” So she had to think a little … huh.
“How many is that?”
“Nine.”
I tried to think of every drawing or painting my aunt and uncle had in their house. There were just pictures of flowers in the kitchen. There were big pictures in the den, but they were all forests and stuff. Over the fire place in the family room, there was …
“Wait – are the paintings in books? I think that’s cheating.”
“Not all of them are. Calm down. The person I’m thinking of is in a picture that’s not in a book. That’s ten.”
“Is it Christopher Robin?”
“No.”
“George Washington?” Yeah, I know he’s American, but he wasn’t born American. He was born British.
“Nope.”
“King George?”
“Nope.”
“Is he from Europe?”
“No. Fourteen.”
Ok, I was just guessing wildly now. I had to figure out what else they had up on their walls and not just in books.
There was some steam engine, the Last Supper, a bunch of dutch kids, waitwaitwait …
“Is he from the Middle East?
She tried not to smile, but she couldn’t help it just a bit. “Yes.”
“Is it Jesus?”
She scooted over and hugged me. I wanted to hug her back but my arms were kind of pinned the way I was sitting. “Yaaay! You got it! You won! I thought you were going to panic right at the last, though, but you didn’t. Good for you.”
Before I even had the words in my head, I started to ask her a question. “Would you … I mean, do you … wait, nevermind.”
She was so pretty sitting there. I always liked her, but she looked especially nice that day for some reason. The little crush I’d always had suddenly seemed enormous, and I didn’t want to let her go when we went back home. I was sure I’d miss her like crazy.
She looked like she knew even better than me what I was going to say but didn’t. She was probably used to it. She probably had three boyfriends and all kinds of boys always asking her if she liked-them liked them, or if she just liked them.
“I really like you, Nancy. I mean I ~”
“I really like you, too, Danny.”
“Dooooooooo …” Now, if I didn’t finish, I’d probably look more stupid than if I did, so I went on ahead. “Do you have a boyfriend?” Oh, God, I actually said it, and as the words came out of my mouth, I realized how stupid they sounded. We lived like six hours away from each other. I saw her twice a year. We were in fourth grade! And I’m sure a lot of other reasons why it was the stupidest thing!
I was looking away when I asked. I took a moment to look up at her, since she wasn’t saying anything. “Danny, I really do like you a lot, but I don’t think it would work. You’re going far away soon.”
I nodded and looked back inside the house. Yeah, in two days we’d be back home. Inside the house, something different was going on. A guy with a suit had come in and he was showing mom and dad a big folder. My little sisters were sitting in my aunt and uncle’s laps and they didn’t look happy at all.
“Let’s play another, Danny. You think of one now.”
“Umm … okay. I have one.”
“Is it a person?”
“Yes.”
“Real?”
“No.”
“A movie character?”
“Yes.”
“Boba Fett?”
“Whaaa!? Geez!, how’d you get it so fast!?”
“I just know you really well, Danny.” Yeah, you know me sooooooo well you don’t even want to think about being my girlfriend. Thanks, Nancy. Thanks bunches.
“What’s the man in the suit doing?”
“He’s showing your mom and dad plans.”
“For the party …?”
“Something like that.”
Now, it was starting to sound strange.
I turned back to Nancy. She knew something she wasn’t telling me.
She looked different. She was Nancy, but the sun was on her weird or something because she kind of glowed, like in old movies. She was a little fuzzy like that now.
“He’s helping them plan it, and after you get home, they’ll have the party. You’re going home in a little bit, and they’ll have the party three days from now, when everyone’s ready.
“They sure don’t look like they’re ready to leave.”
“They’re not, Danny. They’re going to leave in the morning.”
That was stupid. Why would I be leaving in a few minutes when they’re not leaving until tomorrow?
“Yeah, right. What, I’m going to drive myself back to Denver? I think I’d get, like, arrested.”
I turned back to the window to watch everyone else. I didn’t want to talk to Nancy about it anymore because she was saying stupid things that didn’t make any sense and I was starting to get mad. I didn’t want to get mad at Nancy because I really, really liked her.
“It’s okay, Danny. It’s hard to let go.”
“Shut up. You’re stupid. I don’t like you and I wasn’t asking you to be my girlfriend, so just shut up.” I knew I was just being mean and that I didn’t mean any of it. You know how they say “Just let him get it out of his system?” That’s what it felt like. I was getting rid of it and wouldn’t have any of that anger once I said it. And that was true. Once I said it, I felt like I was done with it and I started to be okay.
I just watched them in the window. It felt like I was watching a TV show on a big high def plasma screen. It looked so real, but it didn’t seem as real as other things anymore.
“Danny, my friend, we should go now.”
That was not Nancy’s voice.
I turned around slowly. Nancy was there, but I could almost see through her now. There was a light and it was going right through her.
“We’re going to go now, Danny, you and me.” That time, I could tell that the new voice was inside my head.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” But I knew I was.
I looked down toward the ground because my eyes were watering from the light. I could mostly see through myself too.
“My body …”
“It’s not here, Danny. The man in the suit helped your parents with it. You're all done with it.”
“But …”
“You drowned in the koi pond, silly.” That was Nancy, or whatever it was that looked like Nancy. She or it or something leaned in to kiss my cheek. She said “Bye, Danny. I’ll see you. We all will.” and then she wasn’t there anymore. The wind just kind of blew what was left of her away.
“Are you Jesus?”
The light smiled inside me and said “Sure, you can call me Jesus, Danny. Call me anything you like, buddy.”
And then, we weren’t there anymore.
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